‘She'll always be my daughter and needs help’: Caring father allows his pregnant 18-year-old daughter to move into his home after her mom kicks her out, then refuses to compromise with his newly-moved-in long-term girlfriend when she objects

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  • a pregnant woman golding a teddy bear in a crib
  • "AITAH for letting my pregnant daughter move in with me even though my girlfriend doesn’t want her to?"

    I (40m) have an 18 year old daughter with my ex-wife, call her Maddy. We divorced when she was 7, and I have her 3 weekends a month. Her mom moved to a
  • suburb almost an hour outside the city to be closer to her family and for a better school, my work was in the city, and after a while Maddy got sick of all the driving
  • and ask if we could go to a different schedule. We talked most days on the phone, and I have been very involved in her life. She's a great student,
  • graduated with over a 4.0, has a lot of friends and a (what I thought!!) very nice boyfriend. She's has no idea what she wants to do with her life, and had already decided to defer her scholarship a year to take classes at the community college and work.
  • I also have a girlfriend Vera (37) and she gets along with Maddy great. We've been together about 2 years and she just moved into my house a few months ago
  • (edit:her told roommate got married and she couldn't afford rent alone, we'd been together almost 2 years and I was considering proposing so it
  • seemed like a good idea after she couldn't find another place. She pays the electric and water bills but my house is paid off so I just pay taxes, insurance, and the
  • other utilities) and it's been great. I didn't really date much the past few years between Maddy and work so it's nice having someone always around. Vera doesn't want kids of her own, and I don't want anymore, so it's been great.
  • So for all that, Maddy is pregnant and her mom has kicked her out. Her boyfriend has another year left of nursing school and lives in a college apartment with roommates. She is of course
  • staying here for now and found out late - she's due in January. She and her boyfriend went over the options and decided to keep the baby. She told me very meekly and asked if she could
  • stay. I told her of course, she knows this is disappointing but she'll never stop being my baby and if this is what's going to happen, I'm here to support her within reason. As in, I'm fine
  • babysitting if she has work or class, and she will keep working and going to school, but I'm not babysitting for her to party or hang out with friends. If the
  • boyfriend bails, which I was as kind as I could be but told her happens even with the nicest boys, she would need to file child support. And I would give her
  • grace before and after birth, but when she's recovered she will go back to doing chores on top of baby ones. I told her and the boyfriend to sleep on it and they
  • did and came back with actual thoughtful responses, and even a budget and budget goal that I found impressive. So, the tiny bedroom next to Maddy's that is currently home to a treadmill I never use is going to be a nursery.
  • Of course I've kept Vera in the loop during all of this, and she seemed really understanding until I told her the plan. She got upset and said if she wanted to
  • raise a baby she'd have one of her own. She said she didn't sign up for this and is not ok with it, and demanded I rescind the offer, that Maddy is 18 and needs to
  • figure it out on her own if she wants to keep the baby. I told her I wouldn't do that, she'll always be my daughter and needs help. She threatened to move out if I
  • mature couple having an argument while sitting on a sofa at home
  • didn't tell Maddy to get out, then got mad that I told her I understood. Now she's avoiding the both of us (but still staying here) or being snippy. I don't know what she expects me to do, but it's making the entire house anxious.
  • Edit: stop saying that Vera would be shocked that Maddy moved in. This is Maddy's home. She's always lived here. Yes the rest is a surprise but not my daughter living in her home.
  • kayleighdang87 18 is barely an adult, and actual adults who think 18 is a proper age to be 100% on your own are a problem. Good job still being willing to be a parent to your child when she needs you. NTA.
  • mustang 19671967 Time to tell you GF she can do what's best for her but your daughter will Probably be here for 3-4 years. Let her know you want her to stay but your life will change
  • crampingMY_style That's what I told her, she's not happy about it and being r de to me.
  • RJack151 Say goodbye to this relationship.
  • SteamshipsAndTea Agreed, but say hello to a strengthening relationship with the daughter and a wonderful new one with the grandchild.

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